Writing gives you the illusion of control, and then you realize it's just an illusion, that people are going to bring their own stuff into it.
Said at/in: interview in Louisville Courier-Journal, June 5, 2005
David Sedaris
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth.
I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.
I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.
Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president.
Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.
A vote is like a rifle: its usefulness depends upon the character of the user.
We have been told we cannot do this by a chorus of cynics. They will only grow louder and more dissonant in the weeks to come. We've been asked to pause for a reality check; we've been warned against offering the people of this nation false hope. But in the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope.
There's new energy to harness, new jobs to be created, new schools to build, and threats to meet, alliances to repair. The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even in one term. But, America, I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there. I promise you, we as a people will get there. There will be setbacks and false starts. There are many who won't agree with every decision or policy I make as president. And we know the government can't solve every problem. But I will always be honest with you about the challenges we face. I will listen to you, especially when we disagree. And, above all, I will ask you to join in the work of remaking this nation, the only way it's been done in America for 221 years — block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand.